An irregular, irreverent, post-modern account of the surreal, the ordinary, and the bizarre happenings on and around the Felia lavender farm in Crete

Friday, November 10, 2006


Originally this blog referenced a FAQ written in mid-2005 - recently we have had a new influx of readers who have not read every single episode and who are too lazy so to do and who are too tight to buy the paperback and get up to speed that way. Some of them deserve a FAQ. some don't. Here is the updated FAQ anyway.

BLOGFAQ Updated 10th November 2006

Q. Is there really a lavender farm behind all this rubbish? A real one?
A. Part lavender farm, part circus: all fun and mayhem. A poundemonium if you will. What do you want? A map? No chance!

Q. Do I have to read all of the entries to make any sense of this thing?
A. No you don't, and if you did read all of the entries, which is, of course, highly recommended you would not necessarily understand any more than you do now. If you are a recent subscriber you may find particular difficulties as the different contributors pop in and out - such is life. As to whether anyone could make any sense of this well that is a moot question - we hope, in perpetuity.

Q. Is the background to all this confusion explained anywhere?
A. Explicitly, no. Background has been supplied in an obscure and ad hoc fashion without any obvious rationale - a drip feed if you will. If you continue to read and especially if you read back issues you will learn more. The whole picture however shall never be known.

Q. Is this blog a journal, or a novel, or a soapbox, or something else?
A. Yes. Seriously though, it is all of those things and also the emergent form that comes from combining those elements.

Q. When Farmboy refers to The Boss, and Shem refers to the guv'nor or l'auteur are they talking about the same character?
A. We think so.

Q. Is that character Papalaz?
A. No, Papalaz hosts our blog but does not himself contribute - thank heavens. Nor does Mamalaz. They are mostly active in the fora around the WWW where other strange people can be located. .

Q. Is the blog fact or fiction?
A. You think we could make this much rubbish up as we go along? It's fictional but it is true.

Q. Should the entries be read in the order they were written?
A. Unless you have inside information it would not be possible for you to read them in the order they were written. In any case, the order is optional - as is any order.

Q. Have you ever thought of classifying and indexing all of the entries so that for example we could search for all entries by Farmboy, or short stories by Shaun, or entries that mention the farm and the lavender?
A. Yes we've considered it but it sounds like a job for the winter months and our will power and application couldn't support it at present. One day perhaps - we shall see.

Q. Why don't you use more hyperlinks?
A. Nobody here has worked out how to put HTML into the blog entries yet. OK, that isn't actually true but it's not a bad excuse is it?

Q. Does Farmboy really sleep in the carage?
A. Not as far as we know although where he and Eddie actually sleep is an abiding mystery - like so much else here.

Q. Who takes all the brilliant nature photographs?
A. Gill is the resident photographer. Shem crops and compresses them ready for upload.

Q. What sort of camera does she use? What's her favourite lens/exposure combo?
A She uses a Fuji Finepix 6900 Zoom. As for the rest of your question - stop being a geek.

Q. Is Eddie coming to stay?
A. Wait and see, like everyone else. Wow - that's an old question - Eddie has become a permanent and much valued member of the commune. So long has he been such that when I first saw this question just now it shocked me to realise that he hadn't always been here.

Q. Finn McEskimo, your northern correspondent - where does he come from?
A. Read it dummy.

Q. Is the Old Git family or friend?
A. Old Git is both friend and family. He is also a co-conspirator against all known world religions and a professional curmudgeon.

Q. How do you arrive at the odd titles that your entries sport?
A. Shaun has ultimate veto on titles. Everyone who writes invents their own title (that's the name the file is saved as on this machine) but when they get posted Shaun gets the option to change them. Shem has a penchant for doubly allusive titles. What he tells us he tries to do is to have a reference into the content of a piece and out to a literary, or cinematic, or musical piece or somesuch.

Q. Why is the blog posted in 3 separate places and are they all the same?
A. Different layouts are used for the different constituencies. Mostly the contents are identical but only mostly. The only way to know for sure is to read all 3. All the time.

Q. You published the early years that you spent blogging as a paperback book with LuLu. Are you planning another volume? "The Broadband Years" for example?
A. We have no plans so to do but we are willing to listen to entreaties from the audience. This winter we will be working on a paper based version of the post modern, shock horror,mystery Blogella published in the blogs earlier this year. Don't hold your breath though - it is much more difficult than we had imagined. Professional typesetters have been seen pulling out their hair and running swiftly away from the farm in recent months.

Q. Could we please have a dramatis personae? At least the regulars?
A. The regulars are: the author or boss; Shem and Shaun (actual twins but with different birthdays); the farm twins, who aren't actually twins - Eddie and Farmboy or Frambot or Ceddie (take your pick) - sometimes known only by their signature red overalls. G never writes although she is a constant inspiration to all of us. That's the lot - for now.

Q. Are all of the apparent visitors that you receive at the farm real people?
A. Is anyone real people? Are you? Does it matter?

1 comment:

  1. HaHa. Thanks for a great laugh. I needed that. Absolutely Brill!

    Oh, and the Old Git asks me to thank you for your kind comments.

    With hugs and kisses to all the gang!