An irregular, irreverent, post-modern account of the surreal, the ordinary, and the bizarre happenings on and around the Felia lavender farm in Crete

Sunday, May 28, 2006


JR Associates - Consulting Textual and Narrative Structural Engineers

Re: The work in progress (known tentatively as I Arrest You)

Dear Sir,

you MUST stop writing this blogella IMMEDIATELY.

WARNING: We know your predilection for bricolage technique, despite having engaged us as consulting structural engineers for this project, and we are also respectful of your ardent desire to remain silent within the text itself, however we would wish to make you immediately aware that if you do intend to use this text within your own text then you MUST put it in the trunk of the structure. A catastrophe will almost certainly ensue should you ignore this warning.

The reason for the alarming/alarmist nature of our opening two paragraphs of this missive (and the emergency level IM we sent earlier today) is the possible collapse of the textual structure on which you are presently engaged (TWIP). As you know we have been monitoring the sensitive instrumentation installed in the physical deployment structure of your new work on a daily basis and as of Friday we have been seeing some strange tremors rippling through the entire textuality. On close examination of the readings we can confirm that the structure itself is close to collapse. (If you have installed this text within the main trunk text as requested then you have strengthened the structure already).

If you will recall our final presentation to yourself before you began work on the foundation struts of the main text we were very concerned about your intention to cantilever two separate texts from the main trunk and in particular your wish to delay the cantilevering until quite late in the development of that main trunk. We suggested (para 3 of our final pre-start report) that you should: a)begin the cantilever from a lower point in the narrative and b) cantilever the two new texts at 180 degrees each to the other.

We contacted you on the 16th of May this year when you accomplished the cantilever and expressed our deep misgiving that you had left the cantilever so late AND that you had placed both new texts on the same branch. You were, at this point, in unknown territory in engineering terms. Despite your assertion that these two new texts are not narratives we can only tell you that our instrumentation readings indicate that each of them is exerting the same load characteristics as a canonical narrative.

On that day we began a close watch on the monitor points but unfortunately and entirely because of your insistence on placing both new texts on the same branch we are, even now, unable to measure them separately. Their combined load began producing eccentric behaviour in the main trunk text on the 17th when you added to both secondary texts simultaneously and added only trivial strength to the trunk text. You will doubtless have noticed that your trunk text started weakening from that time on and unless you stop now and act upon our advice we will regretfully have to formally relinquish responsibility for the entire structure - in legal, literary, and professional spheres.

We have attached a full report (Appendix A) that outlines all of the possibilities within traditional engineering disciplines and knowledge open to us/you to stabilise the structure. However, some of our most recent clients who have been experimenting in certain leading edge textual arenas have provided provisional data that indicate (and I must stress that they only indicate, they do not guarantee) a new structural avenue that is worthy of consideration to an artist of your intellectual strength and bravery (Appendix B). I would once again stress that Appendix B offers potentiality rather than the certitudes offered by Appendix A but knowing you as I do and admiring as I do your creative dynamic I suspect that you will opt for the Appendix B option. In this case we should meet at your earliest convenience to discuss the ramifications of this course of action and its physical implementation.

Let me close on a personal note (you noticed, no doubt, that I lapsed into first person singular in the ultimate paragraph) I admire your "textuality" to date and am eager to assist in any way possible to shore it up and where necessary to underpin it so that you might continue to add to it with some certain knowledge that the newly modified structure can support your creative thrust and breadth. Please help us to help you. Please desist for now. I am ready to meet with you momentarily to resolve this immediate problem.

We remain,
your obedient engineers

JR Associates

I remain,
your devoted reader

JR (Principal)

(to be continued ... )

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