Not Till the Red Fog Rises

There's a book on The Boss's shelves called "Not Till the Red Fog Rises" and that's how I been feeling since I got here, it's like a veil is lifting. No, more like seven veils like in the fairy stories. Every week things have been getting clearer like somebody changes my mental glasses every week. Ceddie says its the healthy living an he's prolly right but Shem says its the lack of drugs that they was forever dosing me up on in the hostipal an he's prolly right two. It's just that things make more senses now as I can see properly - not see with my eyes if you know what I mean just see like with my head.

Working outside in the fresh air and not having people on at me all the times helped I'm sure. Being with Ceddie all day is good two like when we were kids before they took me away first time. And the others, Shem is always splaining things to me and Shaun reads to me at night and I'm learning to read and write properly again. It's like it's all coming back slowly. Gill is just as good to me as mum was but prettier and when I see mum I'm going to tell her so - she'll be glad Ceddie has someone to look after him and cook up great grub and stuff and wash his my overalls. The girls are always warm and they smell like proper dogs when I nuzzle my face in their necks not housedogs and they just nuzzle back and groan sometimes and it makes me feel loved.

And the Boss? I think the Boss knows you know. About it not all being quite kosher and stuff. But he doesn't let on and he doesn't seem to have grassed me up. When people ask when I'm going back he just smiles and puts his arm round my shoulder and kinda hugs me and says "We shall see. But Eddie's so useful and such a good boy. Why would we let him go?" And then he sorta winks at me. So far I'm pencilled in for helping do olive harvest and that's a week away at least. Like the Boss says "We shall see!"

Hitchen was a good idea it turns out coz nobody's got no record of me travelling so theres no way to tell where I am less they find the letters but I think I got all of them. Still, I'm almost sure someone there mustve knowticed by now. Praps its easier to let sleeping dogs lie than tell the truth. Leastwise no police have turned up here yet luckily. They carry guns here and that worries me a bit - wouldn't want trouble at the farm. I'd just leg it down to the river and head on up into the mountains from there if they do arrive one day. But like the Boss sometimes says people have better things to do most of the time than look for lost peoples. Some lost peoples just stay lost. Mebbe I'll be one of them permanently lost people.

Till I came here I wouldntve beleived that winter could be so beautiful but the clouds and the sunshine and the thunderstorms and the rain just would take your breath away. It's green now. It was dust coloured mostly when I got here. It's a thousnad shades of green - so many it hurts when I try and count them. Sometimes I could just stand and look forever. I see stuff here most of the others miss coz I look so long and hard. I see the little shrews and I see the buzzards that eat them. I see the owl at night and I hear him cry out as he drops onto a rat. And I see the martens and the hedgehogs and once I think I saw me a badger but I'm not two sure cos it was white and black not black and white if you know what I mean but I'm pretty sure it was. A badger I mean, praps they're different here. And I see the slow worms, and the snails that the bloke round the corner comes looking for after the rains. And its all just wonderful and I want to stay here forever and never have to go back. And mebbe I can. Praps I'll be lucky.